LESS THAN 24 HOURS

Just thought I should post something before I left.  I'm surprised at how much there is left to do in terms of getting ready for this trip.  Nothing for the actual trip...just making sure everything is taken care of here while I'm gone.

My friends threw me a good-bye party last night and it was wonderful to be able to see everyone at least once more before I left.  I was encouraged by their presence and the way people stepped up when my lack of planning became evident.  Favorite part of the night: watching my vegan friend, Daryn, grilling...because none of us ladies were entirely sure how to.  Awesome. :)

Everyone keeps asking me how I'm feeling, and for the most part I'm feeling good.  I freaked out a little yesterday, I think mostly from finally feeling the magnitude of this trip.  Even prepping for a trip changes a person's perspective on life.  For example: today I was trying to eat and drive, when I suddenly thought "this is kind of dangerous, I could hurt myself by not being fully focused on the road".  But then I thought "I'm going to Africa. And I'm hungry"  And everything was ok. :)

Seriously though, the nervousness comes in waves.  My biggest fear is one that plagues me here too, and that is the fear of killing a patient.  I have surprisingly little experience with death and now I'm going to a place where I feel it is rampant based on the lack of resources.  This week we had lectures preparing us for our intern year and it has made me increasingly aware of how much medicine I don't remember and because of it, I'm not sure if I'll be able to not feel guilty if my patient dies.  I need to remember God's sovereignty in this.  It is the Lord who gives and takes away, not me.  I have responsibilities, but some things are outside of my control.  ::big sigh::  We'll see.  One day at a time.

Before I head off to bed, just a shout out to my AIM-ers: Luke who left today and Christine who leaves tomorrow.  And if I don't get to talk to the Washington trio before you head out...good luck and I'll be following your blogs and praying accordingly.  I know we're all going separately, but there is a togetherness in this process for which I am grateful and I wish you all the best out there.

Out for now. See you in Uganda. :)