Sunday, April 22, 2012

BREAKING BAD NEWS


The past few days, Dr. Tinkah (who I normally work with) has been out, so I’ve been working with another doctor who doesn’t have the best reputation and has been known to not show up on occasion.  I preface with this because I don't think I would've been put in this situation had Dr. T been around.  Anyway, about 4 days ago, we had a patient come in to the female medical ward with palpitations, headache, and dizziness.  When this 30 y/o lady came in, I was outside and saw the nurses wheel her in.  I thought they were horribly mistaken taking her into the female ward because she looked just like a man.  Strong jaw, muscular, t-shirt (i.e.-no obvious female characteristics visible). I literally waited for them to wheel her back out and take her to the men's ward…but they didn’t.  Instead, I ended up rounding on her.  One of the struggles with people out here is that there is a great deal of denial and so when there is a bad prognosis (usually cancer) they have been told about, they pretend they’ve never known anything and expect you to rediagnose them with something different.  So when this lady came in and refused to let us run any tests on her (looking for secondary causes of high blood pressure), we thought she was hiding something.  We had managed to look at her chest during her heart exam and noticed she had absolutely no breasts.  Trying to to an external genital exam was the biggest fiasco ever and never actually happened for reasons not worth going into.  Eventually, she let us do an abdominal U/S which showed that she had no uterus or ovaries.  For numerous reasons also not worth going into, I found myself in the position of having to break this news to her.  Alone.

I can’t even begin to explain how difficult it was to get the courage to do this and the circumstances that led to me finally being able to- were undoubtedly from God.  If I thought I could explain concisely, I would, but the timing of everything was just too perfect and far too intricate to do so.  If you remember when I get back though, I would love to share.

Anyway, the whole time I’m preparing to do this, I’m thinking of those “dumb at the time, but now are like the Holy Grail to me” doc.com videos we had to watch during intersession.  I didn’t have tissues (I have actually yet to find a paper product in all of Uganda), but I did manage to find a private room for us to use.  I was a little extra worried because I knew I would be working through a translator, but luckily the patient actually spoke a little bit of English.  I explained what we had found and the implications of it and how I thought it was related to her blood pressure.  Her reaction was actually kind of cool.  She got really quiet for a second then said “I always wondered why I hadn’t developed breasts like the other girls”.  That blew me away.  For at least 15 years, this lady wondered why she didn’t look like the other girls and had just accepted it.  I can’t even imagine the psychological damage that would’ve caused me and I can’t help thinking we offered her at least a little relief.    Here at Kagando, we don’t even have a way to measure electrolytes, so we will never be able to tell her why she doesn’t have female organs, but as is often the case….we do what we can.  For her, that means we are trying to control her BP and will start her on OCPs in hopes that the estrogen will help her at least a little physically.

I like the autonomy I’ve had out here with this other physician in so far as I have quickly learned to trust myself a little more and feel able to manage things without always running to an attending, but I’m really looking forward to the guidance I’m going to have as an intern- just someone to make sure I’m not making huge mistakes.  Get excited. :)

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